For any parent of a teenage girl or a woman in her 20’s, watching them date can be both fun and a little nerve-wracking at the same time.
With that in mind, how do you know the young lady you love so much is dating someone who has their best interests in mind?
Although you want to avoid coming across as too overbearing in their lives, you also want to make sure that they know you care.
When it comes to knowing the character of the individual they are with, there are several things you can do to ease any concerns you might have, concerns that could end up being justified when all is said and done.
So, are you prepared to know more about who your daughter is dating?
Doing Your Homework about the Guy in Her Life
While you want to take a step back and trust your daughter’s judgment in terms of the guy in her life, there may be some red flags that lead you to question who she is with.
In the event there are, how can you go about trying to confirm them?
Among the options to keep in mind:
- Being upfront
For starters, you can be upfront about any concerns you might have for your daughter’s well-being, asking her (and maybe even her guy) to address your question or questions.
If you choose to take that road, make sure you keep the conversation as positive as possible.
Now, you might be thinking, how can I keep such a conversation positive when I may come across as interfering? Worse yet, you could push your daughter into the arms of someone you do not like by seemingly meddling in her life.
Always let her know that any questions and/or concerns you have for her well-being are just that, making sure she is as safe and happy as possible.
Finally, don’t be afraid to ultimately trust her judgment.
Yes, everyone makes mistakes in life, something that is a given as part of the growing up process.
At the end of the day, all you can do is be there for her, letting her know that you will support her no matter what decision/s she makes concerning her dating life.
- Online research
Another option on the table for you is to go online in attempts to look up their criminal arrest record.
Although you would certainly hope anyone your daughter dates has nothing more than a parking ticket or two, you truly won’t know such unless you do a little digging and/or your daughter’s boyfriend is truthful about any trouble he’s been in.
If you’re unsure of how to go about the online search, take note that there are services out there, services that can give you a rather complete overview of any individual you want to know more about.
With such an online criminal records search, you are able to dig into court, police, arrest records etc. to learn a timetable of one’s negative interactions with law enforcement over time.
Once your research is done, don’t go running to your daughter in a panic if you come across some negative information. In fact, she might already know about the news, so approach the matter in a calm and adult manner with her. The last thing you want (or need) to do is start a rift between you and her.
- Time together
Lastly, some parents are quite engaged in getting to know the people their daughters bring home over time, while others are much more removed.
In order to find that healthy balance, spend time with the pair, having dinners with them at your home, outings together etc.
By spending more time together, you can get a better feel for whether or not the individual has your daughter’s best intentions in mind. It also may help make him feel more at home around you and your partner (if you’re married or simply living with someone) to know he can be open with you.
When all is said and done, making sure your daughter is healthy and happy should be your main focus.
As a mother, have you gotten involved in your daughter’s dating life over the years?